Hello readers!
We are lucky enough to have an article from Cameron Von St James. Cameron and his wife Heather have been through a horrific ordeal with Mesothelioma just three short months after the birth of their daughter. With the odds stacked against them they came out swinging and Heather beat cancer.
They are now well know advocates and their story bought tears to my eyes. Below is an article Cameron has written for diaryofacancermum readers and below that is a link to their blog. Please take a moment to read and appreciate what these amazingly strong parents have been through.
Thank you 🙂
Dealing With the Duties of Being a New Dad and a Caregiver
I remember what it was like dealing with my wife’s mesothelioma diagnosis, but she has pointed out to me on several occasions that she has no idea what I went through. We talked, once, about my experience as her caregiver during those months, but with this I hope to shed more light on it and share the lessons I learned with those who could benefit from our story.
Our daughter was born only three months before Heather was diagnosed. Lily brought so much joy to our lives. That joy was taken from us when Heather’s doctor said the word cancer. Heather cried over her diagnosis, I wondered how we would make it through this diagnosis. I was very emotional, and I remember being on the verge of breaking down when the doctor started talking about medical decisions we’d have to make, which brought me back to the present. I remember thinking that this was only the beginning.
I was angry at the world for dumping us into this cruel and unfair situation. I often lashed out and used a lot of profanity during that time, but I quickly began to realize that this attitude was not going to help my family. What I really wanted was to be Heather’s rock and source of optimism. I was finally able to achieve that, but it was much easier said than done. My days were so overwhelming with work, travel arrangements, taking care of Heather, taking care of Lily, and taking care of our home. I started accepting the offers of help rolling in from friends and family, and I am so glad that I did. I was still overwhelmed, but it did make things much easier. I will be forever grateful to all of the people who reached out to us during our time of need.
Out of everything, the most difficult time for me came when Heather and Lily spent two months in South Dakota with Heather’s parents. I couldn’t work and take care of her following her mesothelioma surgery in Boston, so they went there so Heather could recover and prepare for chemotherapy and radiation, while I remained behind to work. I saw them only one time in those two months. I drove 11 hours overnight through a snowstorm after work on a Friday, to spend a few precious hours with them before turning back around to be at work on Monday morning. It was so hard being away from them, but we were very lucky to have that option. This was one decision that was very difficult, but sometimes you have to make decisions that aren’t easy simply because they are the best. I missed them terribly, but I’ve learned not to regret that choice, or any of the tough choices that cancer forced us to make.
If I learned anything from Heather’s cancer experience and my experience as her caregiver, it’s that you have to accept help when it’s offered, and you cannot let yourself regret the tough times. I am so grateful to all the help our loved ones provided for us, and I will be thankful forever. I hope that our story can provide a source of hope and comfort some another family struggling through cancer.
To read more about our story, you can visit our blogs:
Diary of a cancer mum 